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Posts Tagged ‘double penetration’

Even kissing Scott Gomez's ass couldn't have saved the Islanders Monday night.

Even kissing Scott Gomez's ass couldn't have saved the Islanders Monday night.

Hello again, everyone. I know Eric and I are horrible at being consistent with this blog, but we’re doing our best. We are, after all, terribly disabled. What’s this crippling disability which afflicts us, you ask? We’re lazy.

Anyfart, last night’s Monday’s game against the Long Island Douchebags was mighty fun, was it not? Rick “My Vagina Hurts, I Can’t Play” DiPietro was out, most likely watching his stories and getting a bird crap facial, so that of course meant that the Rangers’ offense was going to make Joey MacDonald look like a Vezina finalist, like they do all back-up goalies. But alas! They didn’t! With a final score of 4-2 and shot totals of 39-30, I’m a happy camper.

One thing I felt the game was missing was an all-out brawl. They came close a couple times, and there were some good fights(although Voros needs to stop it with the uppercut, he didn’t land a single one), I was getting really excited for a full-team throwdown at center ice. Although since Rick “Meat in a Man Sandwich” DP wasn’t playing, the Battle of the Pretty Boys would have to wait for another day. So I guess it was better we didn’t waste a brawl, because everyone knows, a good slamming is no fun without a DP.

So I know this is a day late, and not very inclusive, but hopefully it was entertaining and included the main facts – we won, there was no DP, and there were fights. Oh yeah, Dubi took some shitty penalties and Tommy Boy brought the hammer down on him and made him ride pine for a few shifts.  Chris Drury scored his first two goals of the season.   I think that about covers it. Until next time, my friends.

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The Rangers faceoff agaisnt the Islanders for the first time this season.  Rick “body of glass” DiPietro will be riding pine with some sort of injury (chronic sucking) while backup Joey MacDonald gets a go at it.

I’m pretty sure the last time MacDonald was in goal against the Rangers, he was a Bruin and he gave up 4 goals on 11 shots (including Ryan Callahan’s 1st and 2nd career goals) after coming in for Timmy Thomas 5:07 into the second period.  He was so bad that the Bruins put Thomas back in net to start the third.  The final was 7-0.

Here are the highlights:

I remember this because I was at this game and it was on St. Patrick’s Day 2007.  I was pretty buzzed and at one point shouted, “Hey Thomas, you’re the reason I’m pro-choice!”  And yes, I got many laughs.

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gortonsfishermanstill.jpgRematch tonight.

This time it’s at the garbage dump of an arena the Islanders call home. Seriously, I’m from Nassau County… and that monstrosity is the best thing we have to name after ourselves??

Anyway, the Rangers are going with the exact same lineup from Tuesday, which means no Strudwick, no Hollweg. Apparently, Renney has something against guys with W’s in their name.

I’ve been hearing a lot of grumbling about Lundqvist and his less-than-stellar play of late. I’ve even heard some people calling for Valiquette to start. My response: relax! As it turns out, Lundqvist is human. That ‘S’ on his chest does not stand for Superman (it’s just the ‘s’ at the end of Rangers). Playing goalie is a streaky business. You might go a few games where you feel it would take a superhuman effort to put the puck past you, and then you might go a few games feeling like a piece of swiss cheese that just passed through a sieve (if that is even possible). Whenever I am not playing my best, I just try to focus on the basics. Get in good position. React, don’t think. Etc etc. Lundqvist has some great goalie coaches working with him, and I feel confident he will back to his usual self pretty soon — maybe even tonight.

The word so far is that Dubliewhatever will be back in the net for the Islanders tonight. But, there have supposedly been a few Double-Penetration-ietro sightings around the Mausoleum. Would you be surprised to see D.P. out there at game-time? I wouldn’t be.

There were also a few reported Gorton’s Fisherman sightings on the LIRR this afternoon… look out.

P.S. I am so freakin’ excited for Duke-UNC on Saturday that it’s really the only thing I can think about. If anyone has something that resembles a coherent thought on tonight’s game, go ahead and post it.

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The New York Rangers go for their 5th straight win tonight in a matchup against the rival Islanders. The Rangers are 7-0-2 over their last nine games, which means they have a nine game “we might have lost a few but we still got points in the standings” streak. Note: I still have no idea what to call this kind of streak.

Starting in goal for the Islanders tonight, Wade Dubliewhatever. The Isles usual goaltender, Rick Double-Penetration-ietro, is away from the team grieving the loss of his grandmother… and I just made fun of the guy and now I feel bad. Sorry. Moving on.

The Islanders have definitely given the Rangers trouble this season. In particular, I can’t shake that 3-goals-in-the-third-period debacle at the Nassau Mausoleum game. But, I think this is a much different Rangers team. I’m looking for a big game out of Avery (see earlier post for more on this). Also, I’m hoping that Lundqvist can bounce back from a weak game against the Flyers.

P.S. Around the NHL tonight, we want the Sabres to beat the Flyers, the Panthers to beat the Bruins, the Lightning to beat the Penguins, and the Leafs to beat the Devils. Let’s go Rangers. –Eric

And just for shits and giggles:

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