Posts Tagged ‘All Star GAme’

All-Star Game Live(ish) Ramblings

I know you’re all excited!  Get ready for the nonsense that goes through my mind watching these shenanigans.

And we’re off!

I love listening to Joe Michelletti trying to be a dramatic voice-over dude.

Oh yes, Extreme Cage Fighting.  Exactly what I want to watch.  Aww yeah.

Fun fact: Alex Ovechkin and Evgeni Malkin are one of the pairs in the spinning circles suspended from the ceiling.  It’s part of their post-feud bonding.

Falling down seems to be the theme this weekend.

I think Tim Thomas and Henrik Lundqvist are going to be going on vacation together pretty soon.

Again, Dan Boyle is a cutie pie.

I can’t tell if the announcer is saying the introductions in half-English/half-French or if he’s just almost impossible to understand.

I’m pretty sure Hank’s facial expression is “Do you believe this shit?”

Ovie with the gum.

I seriously want one of the starters to trip and take out an couple Pee-Wees.  That would make my day.  Not because I’m a bad person, I just think it would be hilarious.

Don’t cry, Sid, don’t cry.

Get out the lotion and tissues, Montreal, it’s Vinny LeCav.

I love the Obama family t-shirt.  Awesome.  The way this guy is singing?  Not so much.

Oh dear LAWWD!  I am in heaven – a gospel version of O Canada?  They got my letter to Santa!!


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A Thought…

So after the Skills Competition I had a thought.  Maybe this is just me, being a Goalie Junkie, but I always think it’s somewhat unfair for the goalies during the All-Star Weekend.  I know I’m not the only one that thinks this, everyone has pretty much acknowledged that ASGs are no fun for goalies.  But I’ve always felt bad for them – it seems like they’re just props to help showcase the offensive talent in the league.  So, I’ve always thought that goalies need their own event.  And then once I have that thought, it is followed quickly by the realization that without shooters, they goalies would have nothing to do.  So here’s my ideas for Goalie All Star Events that will never come to be:

Rocket Goalies – This idea comes from Jackass: The Movie.  Or Jackass 2, I can’t remember which one this was in.  But anyway, there’s one part where Johnny Knoxville puts on a pair of rollerblades, and duct tapes a bunch of bottle rockets to the back of them, lit the rockets, and then tried to see how far he could get without falling down.  So for Rocket Goalies, the goalies would be in full gear, but have 3 bottle rockets affixed to each of their skates.  They would be in full gear, so they would be fully protected from getting hurt by falling, or from being burned by the rockets.  There would be two rounds; Round 1 would consist of the Conference Goalies facing off against each other, all three would line up at one goal line, the rockets would be lit, whoever makes it the furthest without falling wins and advances to the next round.  Round 2 is the winner of the East vs. the winner of the West.  Whoever makes it the furthest wins.  Hell yeah.

UPDATE: The guy who posted the video has embedding disabled, so here’s the link (leave it alone this time, Eric):


The Superman Slide – Again, two rounds: East vs. West and Winner takes Winner.  The three goalies line up at the goal line, skate to the blue line, and dive onto the ice.  Whoever slides the furthest and stays the straightest wins.

Goal-out –  Like the shootout, but the goalies are the shooters.  Like the trick shot contest this year, a junior level goalie would be in goal, but instead of forwards, the All Star voted goalies are doing the shooting.  The goalies have one minute to score as many goals as they can, in full goal gear.  Masks optional.  Using goal sticks, not regular sticks.  Whoever scores the most goals wins.

Are these suggestions ridiculous?  Hell yes.  Will they ever become part of the All-Star Skills competition?  Hell no.  But would it be fun as hell to watch if they did?  Abso-rootin-tootin-lutely(I can’t use the f-word on this blog).

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A couple of weeks ago, I was all set to boycott this year’s All Star Game.  The absolute joke that it had become pissed me off beyond hell.  I wasn’t going to watch, I had a nasty email almost done about what  disgrace the NHL had allowed to go on, with the Montreal fans installing programs which padded their votes to have all Canadiens players being the starting line-up.  I don’t give a shit that the ASG is in your town during your 100th season, that doesn’t give you the right to cheat and rob the rest of the league’s players and fans of seeing those players who SHOULD start actually start.

This picture has nothing to do with the ASG really, but I just think it's awesome. - Goalie punch!

This picture has nothing to do with the ASG really, but I just think it's awesome. - Goalie punch!


Anyway, so after all of my hemming and hawing about what a disgrace this year’s ASG was going to be and no one should watch it, the NHL did one thing right and named our boy Henrik Lundqvist to the Eastern Conference Reserves as the Ranger’s representative.  You know what that means?  It means I have to watch the game.  It means I have to care.  It also means I have to buy a t-shirt.  I’ve always thought that Hank deserved to be named the that All Star Team; but damn, why in hell did it have to be this year?  Oh well, we wish him luck.





Plus I get a new t-shirt!






On a completely unrelated note, my best friend Melissa lives in North Carolina, and this weekend apparently a bunch of the Carolina Hurricanes went on a golf weekend at the golf resort she works at, and today Ray Whitney asked her for a band aid.  

And Melissa gave him one of these:

These are the Band-Aids that Melissa carries with her and give to hockey players.  Well done Meliss, well done.

These are the Band-Aids that Melissa carries with her and gives to hockey players. Well done Meliss, well done.


Anywhoo – I realized last night that I don’t get the NHL Network, even though I have the Center Ice Package.  You have to pay for the the NHL Network separately.  Bull to the Shit.  So I’m deciding if I should forgo all the ridiculousness of the media day and just watch what’s on versus tomorrow, or if I should call Comcast and yell.  Any thoughts, you guys?


We here at 5-Hole will (hopefully) be updating during the festivities, so check back often!


P.S. I love Marc Staal even more now:



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