I know you’re all excited! Get ready for the nonsense that goes through my mind watching these shenanigans.
And we’re off!
I love listening to Joe Michelletti trying to be a dramatic voice-over dude.
Oh yes, Extreme Cage Fighting. Exactly what I want to watch. Aww yeah.
Fun fact: Alex Ovechkin and Evgeni Malkin are one of the pairs in the spinning circles suspended from the ceiling. It’s part of their post-feud bonding.
Falling down seems to be the theme this weekend.
I think Tim Thomas and Henrik Lundqvist are going to be going on vacation together pretty soon.
Again, Dan Boyle is a cutie pie.
I can’t tell if the announcer is saying the introductions in half-English/half-French or if he’s just almost impossible to understand.
I’m pretty sure Hank’s facial expression is “Do you believe this shit?”
Ovie with the gum.
I seriously want one of the starters to trip and take out an couple Pee-Wees. That would make my day. Not because I’m a bad person, I just think it would be hilarious.
Don’t cry, Sid, don’t cry.
Get out the lotion and tissues, Montreal, it’s Vinny LeCav.
I love the Obama family t-shirt. Awesome. The way this guy is singing? Not so much.
Oh dear LAWWD! I am in heaven – a gospel version of O Canada? They got my letter to Santa!!
Jay Bouwmeester looks like he’s on massive amounts of Valium.
And the puck is down!
Yay Marc Savard is mic’d again!
Ha! Take that Montreal cheaters – Price gives up the first goal.
Passes are apparently called ‘sauce’ in the NHL.
The Western guys look like Mickey Mouse with those ridiculous all-white gloves.
Ahh, the clip of Ovie with the hat and glasses.
Ovie make goal! Game’s tied at 1.
I’m slowly remembering how boring I always find the All Star Game. Damn.
Hehe – the mascots are sitting along the glass in the corner by Giguere.
Wouldn’t it have been better to do the little honor/recognition of Henri Richard before the game? Like, not in between the commercial break and a faceoff?
Hey Doc Emrick, when you talk over the goal announcement, it just means that no one can hear you.
Oh, I guess this is going to be a reoccurring thing with introducing players with their numbers retired. Gotcha. God, this is going to go on FOREVER.
So I’m guessing the two other goalies are watching this in the dressing room, since it doesn’t look like they’re on the bench. And it doesn’t look like there would be room for them anyway.
I wish Price had shot that into his own net. That would have made my night.
And Canadiens fans collectively bust in their pants as Kovalev scores on a breakaway.
Malkin with a spin-around, through-the-legs almost goal.
I can’t listen to the Crybaby. Game is on mute now.
Gigeure wants to kill himself. 4-1 East with 30 seconds left in the 1st.
1st period ends with the score 4-2. I’m getting a snack. Scratch the snack – my roommate just suggested pizza for dinner. Sweet.
Ok, pizza’s ordered, and I’m back.
I guess I was right about Thomas and LQ watching the game from the locker room – since Hank was getting his gear on, and Thomas looked like he’d been there for a while. Or they’re planning the ski trip they’re going to take together.
Yay second period!
Marty St. Louis is wearing the mic for this period.
And we’re off! LQ is in net.
And Marty the Midget scores!
Sorry, St. Louis the Little Person.
Parise pots one. The score is now 6-2.
LQ makin’ some saves.
Damn, clinkity-clink and in. Love the father and son in Ranger jerseys.
Damn. Boyle scores. Score is 6-4.
Backstrom gives up a weakass goal to Malkin. Score now 7-4. In other news, I am starving, and my roommate needs to get back here with the pizza NOW.
These announcers are considering naming the between-the-legs goal after Malik. The only thing that should be named after Malik is the dump I took this morning.
Good lord, I walk away to get pizza and it’s a tie game. WTF, Hank??
Ok, now the retired Canadiens lovefest is getting old. Do that shit during a real game, don’t waste my time with it.
Finally, the East is realizing that there does need to be SOME defense. 5 goals was all it took to knock that into them.
In other news, my pizza is delicious. I know you care so much. 🙂
Bittersweet for non-Montreal East fans, Kovalev breaks the tie on a breakaway.
I can’t get over how bad those white gloves look.
Kovalev almost nets a hat trick, but hits the post.
LQ officially wants to kill himself. Game tied at 8.
Hank makes a great friggin save, but took a few moments to get up. I swear, if he comes out of this hurt, my tv is going out the window.
End of the 2nd. Game tied at 8. No way in hell LQ is winning MVP. Scotty Gomez can kiss the Honda goodbye.
You know they’re talking to Thomas because Hank smacking his head against a wall.
Highlight reel: I still love that hit that Eric’s man-crush Lucic laid on Van Ryn.
I ate wayy too much pizza. And the cheeseybread didn’t help in the slightest.
And on to the 3rd!
9-8 West 30 seconds in. Thomas in goal.
Dany Heatley ties it. I’m so ready for this to be over. Luongo’s in net for the West.
And as I was typing that, the West scores again. 10-9 West.
The fans are chanting something – it sounds like our ‘Marrrrtyyy’ chant, but I can’t make out what they’re saying. It actually kind of sounds like ‘Rorrryyyy’. How do they know I’m doing such a shit job with this live blog? Oh no!
Even Doc Emrick can’t figure it out!
Ohhh they’re yelling at Thomas – cause he’s a Bruin. Good job, heckle the goalie that’s playing for YOUR TEAM. This is still East vs. West, dumbasses. Thomas should throw this just to get back at them.
Womanizah womanizah womanizah – oh!
Zdeno Chara says hockey players like to act like little boys – and speaking of little, St. Louis scored to tie it up. 10-10.
I do like Sports Soup. And I like the promos even more – hockey beating up cheerleading. Awesome. Let Iseman live!!
Bob Harwood reminds Mike Modano that he’s older than dirt.
Thomas tries to make a crazy Hasek-esque save and fails. 11-10 West.
Jay Bouwmeester finally does something and scores to tie it up.
I really don’t want this to go to overtime. It’s almost time to Rock of Love Bus. Come on boys, score.
Oh lord. Overtime. For the first time since 2003.
You know, in case this goes to a shootout, Hank definitely should have played the third. Although he played like he was out all night last night, so maybe not.
Amazing save by Thomas. Hot damn.
Holy crap – first ASG penalty in 7 years. Fun fact: it was taken by Sandis Ozolinch, the Rangers’ designated drunk driver. Hehe.
And this shit goes to a shootout. I really hope Hank is drinking in the locker room. That would make my night.
Screw the shootout – the goalies both do the Single Ladies dance at center ice, and the winner decided by applause.
Bettman is enjoying this immensely. This is his dream. Too bad Cindy isn’t playing.
Vinny LeCav lets down all of his groupies in Montreal and doesn’t score. Bad shot, dude.
Thomas makes the save on Shane Doan.
Alex Kovalev scores. Is this shit rigged?
Rick Nash hits the glass. Seriously?
OVIETIME!!! He scores!!! And wins it for the East with a badass move. Totally MVP. Him or Thomas.
Can Bettman wake his stupid ass up now and realize that Ovechkin should be the face of the NHL, and NOT the Crybaby?
Crowd chanting Ovie. Awesome.
Tim Thomas almost gets run over by the giant black Honda that Ovie’s gonna get.
Bettman getting booed, literally shrugs it off and flips his hand like “who cares?”
MVP goes to Kovalev. Big f’ing surprise there. Bullshit.
Well it’s been fun. Sort of. We’ll be back for this again next year – hope you enjoyed my lunacy. I’m off to VH1 for some top notch skankness.