Hey everyone!! Eric is throwing a party tonight(without me, but not his fault), and I have no friends who want to come watch the ASG festivities with me, plus I’m sick. So guess what, you guys have the joy of me semi-live blogging tonight. Basically, I’ve got the window open, and my ramblings will be posted regularly.
7:03 – Joe Thorton hates the French – he wants only English-language merchandise to be worn by all interviwers.
Musical Performance(?) – What in the Hell is this? I’m embarrassed for this girl. But more-so for myself for having to watch this.
Roberto Luongo is one ugly scangooch.
Not a peep for Shea Weber from Nashville. Ouch.
Same goes for Shane Doan for Phoenix.
Dan Boyle looks like Paul Rudd. I’d hit it.
Maybe it’s just how loud they’re playing the music, but it really sounds like the Montreal fans aren’t clapping for anyone.
Brian Campbell would be 10,000 times better in a Rangers sweater.
Damn, Rick Nash looks like Paul Rudd, too! WTF?
Montreal loves them some Vinny LeCav. And so do I.
Look, it’s Not-Hugh-Jessiman.
Boos for the Leaf.
Who the hell is Jeff Carter?
Marty St. Louis is representing the Pee-Wee division of the NHL.
Henrik’s chest protector looks abnormally large. It looks like he’s smuggling a cat underneath it.
A standing ovation for Mike Komisarek just feels wrong.
Some goes for Markov, Kovalev, and Price.
Marc Savard will be the go-to talker tonight. And he’s boring already. Oh, and so is Zach Parise. I hate him because he’s a Devil, so blame this on the cold medicine: Zach-y boy is a cutie pie.
Up first: Fastest Skater.
I think they should let the goalies race each other. Just for the entertainment of one of them probably falling down.
And the Nuck Raymond almost wipes out. Damn that would have been fun.
Damn this dude from the Oilers is FAST. And he wins!
So the West wins the first competition.
Ovie, you have to talk into the microphone to be heard. I love Ovie so very much. Those clips from practice are pretty much why.
If you have to preface what you’re about to say with ‘as the kids would say’, you shouldn’t be saying it. Because you sounds like a moron.
The crowd is chanted OVIE OVIE – I love it.
This trick shot competition was definitely better on paper.
I want to see someone pick it up and throw it into the net.
The Hobbit was pretty awesome though, I’ll admit.
Kovalev needed 3 tries to get that move to work. Nice one.
This music blows.
Can they show Ovie instead of the clips of Stamkos?
Please let Ovie do the Soulja Boy dance. Pleasepleaseplease.
PROPS!!!! AND TWO STICKS!! I will have his babies. Excuse me while I text my vote for ze Ovie.
And on the the YoungStars game.
But before that – all the players are on their phones voting, hehe.
Marc Staal is the only YoungStar I’d hit. And maybe Kris Letang.
I can’t tell who the rookies are and who the sophomores are.
3-1 rookies at the end of the 1st.
Someone needs to teach those kids to chew with their mouths closed. Now I hate Montreal fans even more. That is my biggest f’ing pet peeve. Grrrrr.
Staalzy! Lays the first hit of the game and then scores. Boo-yah.
Haha. Suck it, Price. And then he gets scored on by a Leaf on a breakaway gettin’ booed hardcore. 🙂
My mother just texted me: ‘This is boring’. You said it, ma.
Staalzy scores again!
Dube can’t score and gets taken down by the Pred’s goalie.
Blake Wheeler goes ass over teakettle and comes up smiling.
And the borefest known as the YoungStars Game finally ends – 9-5 Rookies. – Wheeler is MVP.
Now on Versus: more shit that isn’t the NHL.
Can’t they film like, one or two more commercials for the “new NHL.com”? Seriously.
Marky Mark! I just want to rub his shiny head like a genie bottle. I bet would get some wishes out of it.
Hehe – Ovie, Chara, and Savard trilingual commericial.
Ovie wins the Breakaway Competition – yay!
Crap – the accuracy competition is sponsored by McDonalds – that means they’re going to be saying McDonalds 800,000,000 times, and I’m going to end up wanting McDonalds by the end of this. I kind of want it now already.
Oh my god God, the targets have the Micky D’s arches on them.
Malkin and Heatly go 4 for 4.
I actually do like that they’re playing the Mission:Impossible theme.
Malkin and Heatly facing off – Malkin goes 3 for 4 – misses the last one. – Heatly goes 2 for 4 – So Malkin wins. He’s like a fugly version of Mark Whalberg.
Hardest shot up next.
Like a true Islander, Mark Streit looks totally confused as to what to do with a puck and an open net.
Weber sets the speed to beat 103.5 mph.
Sheldon Souray comes close with 102.something.
Chara – 103.3 and 105.4!! He sets the new record!! I feel so bad for Henrik Lundqvist right now – he’s facing him in the shootout competition.
Elimination Shootout up next.
I like the Ride of the Valkyries playing.
I’ll only be tracking who’s shooting on Hank. I don’t have THAT must dedication.
Shane Doan on LQ – he scores. Boo.
Dustine Brown – saved.
Stephan Robidas – Hank gets a piece, and it goes off the post. Lucky.
Andrei Markov – Saved.
Zdeno Chara – He scores. Ouch.
Keith Tkachuck – Saved.
I’m getting the feeling this is going to go on FOREVER.
Jeff Carter – Saved. Ref was standing in front of the camera, thanks ref.
Rick Nash – Saved. Either shot it wide or went off the top of Hank’s glove.
Vinny LeCav – Saved! Marc Savard says LQ’s ‘tricky – back in the net so far.’ Yeah dude, don’t you play in the Eastern Conference?
Hank goes 7-2
Mark Streit skates right in a sign and busts his ass on his way to the tunnel – like a true Islander.
Thomas is sending everyone packin’. Holy shit.
And he just busted his ass getting back into position. Hehe.
And the second round:
Marlaeu scores. Seriously, Hank? Come on.
Modano – Saved.
After 2 rounds, 30 of the original 36 shooters are gone. Hot Damn.
On to the the third round:
Niedermeyer – Saved!
Thomas is a BEAST. But if I were a Bruins fan, I wouldn’t be so comfortable with how hard he’s playing in this. He’s making some ridiculous saves, and I would be worried that he would get injured.
Getzlaf – Saved!
Even though Doan, Savard, and Hejduk didn’t score in the third round, they go on. They go on till someone scores.
Savard – Saved. Yes, Hank’s a big tease with the 5-Hole.
Aww – most of them have their kids on the bench, That’s cute.
Savard and Doan score (not on LQ). So they’re still in.
It’s strange to be watching a shootout and not feel like I’m about to go into cardiac arrest.
Savard on LQ – Hank pokechecks it away.
– Shane Doan in the first Shootout Elimination Champ.
I love Ovie so much. ‘This guy can’t beat me…. This guy can’t beat me either.”
I really think the jersey Hank has on is like 2 sizes too small.
And I get my wish for another NHL.com commercial.
So that wraps up my Skill Competition ramblings. Hope you enjoyed, and I apologize for any typos or misspellings. 🙂