Is this introduction and season preview horribly late? Yes. Is this probably not going to be published until after the season technically begins? Yes. But do you care all that much? Probably not. If you’re that pissed, blame Eric.
Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Rory, and I’m an angry, sarcastic, die-hard, 3rd-generation Ranger fan born in New York and raised in New Jersey. In addition to the Rangers, I love coffee, stiletto heels, and curly fries. Most likely due to my Ranger-fan-in-Jersey upbringing, the New Jersey Devils are the bane of my existence, and it is my personal belief that one of the most important things Lundqvist can do in his career will be to pummel Marty Brodeur in a team brawl until he oozes donut jelly from his man boobs chiseled athletic form.
That being said, I do hope y’all will find what I write, at the very least, amusing, as I do love ranting and raving about my beloved Rangers to anyone who can hear me, whether they want to listen or not. And this is a Rangers blog, so if you’re here and don’t want to hear(read) it, then, um, yeah that’s your business.
So anywhoozle, you’ve all read all summer about every reason why or why not we should or shouldn’t have let Jagr, Avery, and Shanahan go; and the same goes for signing Naslund, Redden, Zherdev, and blah blah blah. So I’m not going to bore the piss out of you by rehashing what you already know. But, since you are taking the time to read this, I’ll at least sum up my overall feelings. In bullet points! Yay!
- I loved Jags. I don’t care about the prima-donna reputation or him sitting out in shootouts. I loved that man for everything he did for this team: bringing us back from being a league-wide joke. Not to mention his willingness to be open and honest about how the team was doing, good or bad, his humor, and, yes, that massive ass. So Naslund is going to have to work extra hard to win me over, which is his ultimate goal, of course.
- Last year’s power play was basically a piece of butt crack lint with some spray glitter on it, so if Redden ends up blowing (Ed. Note: Not shooting the puck), oh well. How much worse could things get?
- Love him or hate him, Sean Avery was, at the very least, entertaining. I’ll miss his borderline unsportsmanlike ass.
- We signed a lot of key guys and spent a lot of money on the premise of them “benefiting from a change of scenery”. Not exactly a good plan, if you ask me.
- In dumping both Marek Malik and Christian Backman, us fans have no immediate option for booing at MSG. I nominate Dimitri Kalinin, he seems to be shaping up pretty well for it.
- The Rangers owe Brendan Shanahan an official ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Just letting it drift away and not saying anything is like breaking up with someone by just not calling them anymore and resetting your Facebook status to ‘Single’. Uncool, and super un-classy.
- Lundqvist’s preseason had been somewhat worrisome, as is the situation with his knees slowly deteriorating. But the last couple of games he’s gotten his form back, and looks Kingly for the start of the season, so I’m willing to push that worried feeling to the backburner for now. He’s poised to make NHL history this season, potentially the first NHL goalie to post 30 wins in his first 4 seasons. Pretty awesome.
- Speaking of Lundqvist, on an un-Ranger-related note, Eric made fun of me for drafting him to my fantasy team (go Bea Arthurs on Ice!), but I think this is Joel’s year to bust out and have an awesome year. You can quote me on that. But only if it comes true. (Ed. Note: Great Success will have great success this season.)
Alright, I’ve rambled enough. If you’ve made it this far, I applaud you. I’m very excited to be here at 5-Hole, and I hope y’all are just as excited as I am for this upcoming season.
LET’S GO RANGERS!